The Holidays Are Coming! Oye!!

I've always loved the holidays! The cooler weather, Fall fashions (MY FAVORITE!), eating, getting together with family, and best of all, PRESENTS! This year has me a little worried, I must admit. I am actually split in half on my feelings of the holiday season this year. I am oh so happy in one way, because it'll be Andrew's first real holiday! He was a just under 2 months old for Thanksgiving, and just under 3 months old for Christmas. This year he will be just over a year old! He's running around now (walking as of 10 months old!); and he is so curious, alert, and full of joy! I am determined to make his first real Thanksgiving and Christmas a SPECIAL one! I've never been super big on decorating, but the hubby and father in law are already warned: This year we are going BIG on decorations! I want our home to be filled with the Thanksgiving and Christmas spirit! On the other end, I am really concerned with how things are going to happen. My family has always been big on being together for the holidays. I've actually been elsewhere on a couple of holidays in the past, and my mom did not let it go for a while after! But things are so different this year. My parents separated a couple of months ago, and its not looking like there's any possibility of reconciliation. My dad is in one city, my mom is in another. There's a lot of bitterness and negativity going around (with one of the parties mentioned..won't specify with whom though), making it difficult to even want to be around! Part of me wants to just be in my own home with my little family, in PEACE. But it will also be saddening to not be together with my whole family, as in the past. I know it'll be a hard reminder of how broken my family has become. My middle sister in one place, my youngest sister with my mom, my dad in another. Funny thing is (well not really funny, but I guess that's just how the saying goes) last Thanksgiving my whole family (parents, one sister, grandma, aunts, uncles, cousin, husband, baby, etc) sat around the dinner table, each saying something. And one thing that was said more than once was that we hoped to get to next year, all together still. Most of us knew this break would be coming. It really saddens my heart. So what do you do? I have no idea what to expect for this year? I guess the only thing I can do is focus on my own family. We will plan to just stay together in the comfort of our own home this year. I have not picked sides with either of my parents. I don't agree with some things, but I love them both the same. It's just so sad to think that this is the very first holiday season that they will not be together. It is what it is though, so I can only focus on what's best for my family. I am REALLY looking forward to making it an exciting one for our little munchkin though. As messed up and dysfunctional our extended family situation may be, we still want our home to be one of joy and happiness! That's exactly what it will be! Soon, we will be getting all the decorations and trees; Daddy and Grandpa Dave (Father in law) will be hanging up the lights (hehe). My focus will not be on the problems in the extended family, it will be MY SON. And making this an exciting holiday season for him!