What Every Young Girl Should Know: A Message To My Little Sister

My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding; Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding. He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler to them that walk uprightly. He keepeth the paths of judgment, and preserveth the way of his saints. Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity; yea, every good path.- Proverbs 2:1-9

Despite being a young 25 year old, I would have to say that I've learned my share of life lessons. They say experience is the greatest teacher; but what if it isn't the greatest way to learn? Yes, experience gives you a hands-on education with certain things in life. Yet, sometimes it is better to learn from someone else's experience and save yourself the hurt, anger, shame, etc.

Looking back now,  I wish I would have paid more attention to King Solomon's words of wisdom to his son. I don't think I really turned to anyone for words of wisdom. Now although I appreciate all the "words of wisdom" my parents shared -no matter how unorthodox-with me growing up, I don't think I've had someone be the person I am trying to be with my little sister. The person whom I felt who truly understands what I was going through as a teenager, and who helped me avoid certain situations.

I have tried to be that person for both of my sisters. Jessica, who is 20, chose not to follow my advice. It hurts me now to see how my younger sister is struggling (but that is a story for another day). Now I am trying to show my youngest sister, 14 year old Brittany, that there is more to life than what she is seeing right now.

Now I must say, I was a pretty good girl in high school (I didn't say perfect!.). I got good grades; I had my small circle of friends and didn't try to be accepted by other peers at my school. I made my share of bad decisions, but they weren't very serious ones. Up until my senior year of high school, I was going to church and trying to live a good christian lifestyle. But after high school, things changed. I started getting wild and rebellious, and eventually that led to more mistakes.

So, I've made a list of things I feel my sister should know (and engrave into her mind! LOL). Some of these things, I've already told her; but it doesn't hurt to hear it again. If anyone reading this have more things to add, please do so!

Britt,
As you continue growing, and encountering new people, places, and things, try not to ever forget these important things:

1- You will have moments where you feel unloved and uncared for. Remind yourself ALL the time how much God loves you, and how much your family loves you. If you do that ALL the time, those moments won't come as often.
2- You are beautiful, intelligent, and have a caring heart. Don't let anyone ever change that. 
3- You will see (and I know you already see it around you) there are girls who will do whatever they can to get attention. They may seem "popular" now, but there will come a day (if it hasn't already) when they will wish they had never done the things they've done.  
4- Don't put yourself in the position to have regrets. Always think "Is this something I MAY regret later?"- If there's the slightest possibility that you may, it's not worth the risk.
5- Don't fall for "I love you's". Any guy can say that..doesn't mean they mean it. Let them prove it to you by just being there and by waiting for you. If you aren't worth waiting for, then they don't truly love you, and they are not worth your time.
6-Think before you act. That'll always help you.
7-Don't ever feel like you have to "prove" your love physically to anyone on this earth. 
8-Don't worry about disappointing people so much. Make sure you are doing the right thing, even if someone doesn't like it. 
9-There's always going to be someone (most likely another girl) that doesn't like you, for whatever reason. People like that don't matter. Take their attitudes toward you like a grain of salt. But still be kind. Don't stoop to their level.
10-Don't get offended very easily. When you realize who's opinion truly matters (God), you won't care so much about what people think.
11-Don't give in to peer pressure. You will always be held responsible for your own actions, regardless of who influenced you.
12-Don't drink. It isn't worth it. (But you already know that)..Don't smoke either..both are hurting your body.. and God gave you that body and expects you to take care of it!
13-Don't waste your time in bars, clubs, and parties. All it has to offer is drunken fools, girls looking too hard for attention, and guy's who probably will only try to get in your pants. (Yes there are exceptions but those exceptions are like needles in a haystack)
14-Don't ignore God's word. You can save yourself so much grief and heartache but just reading it,learn where God stands on different topics, and apply it to your life.
15- Don't bury your feelings inside, they will eventually come out, and it probably won't be pretty.
16-Learn to forgive, not doing so will only start cultivating bitterness inside (you've seen this first hand)
17-Wait for the man God has for you..I know I sound like a broken record...but once you find him you will understand why I repeated this. You will be so proud to give him the gift of your purity..I wish I could have given Mike that gift, but I can't and there's no starting over.

Remember the story I found online that I sent to you:

"A young teenage girl was being ridiculed by two other girls for maintaining her purity. Her reply: 'I can be what you are any day, but if you live a hundred years, you could never be what I am' " 




18-If a guy will only try to talk to you when no one is around, he probably doesn't have much to say that is worth hearing, and his intentions are probably not sincere (I think you know why I'm saying this) :)
19-Be happy with who you are. As women we always focus on our flaws and compare ourselves to others. While you are wishing you looked like someone else, there's someone wishing they looked like you. God made you beautiful just the way you are. You are unique, and you look like YOU. Don't try to look like everyone else.
20-Natural is always better!
21-If God gives you long life, be thankful and welcome it with open arms..age gracefully..don't be a 40something trying to act like she's still in high school. That's not cute...ever...
22-Set goals, and don't let anything get in the way that is not worth it. But be flexible too. If for some reason those goals don't work out, don't be too hard on yourself. Just make new ones.
23-Don't cuss. A lady looks and sounds so terrible when trash comes out of her mouth, and men do pay attention to that. Be smart, learn how to communicate your feelings without having to resort to pea-brained language.
24-Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself, or disrespect you, man or woman.
25-There's a saying that goes " A women's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her" (Maya Angelou). This is SO true. 
26-If a man doesn't truly love God, he will never be able to love you the way you deserve to be loved (nor will he respect you the way God commands him to as a husband).
27-Have a heart for other people. When you focus more on others, and less on yourself, you'll have less to be unhappy about.
28-Choose your friends wisely. Plain and simple. "Tell me who you are with and I'll tell you who you are"...people will judge you wrongfully, and eventually you will start acting like your friends.
29-Go to church. Your spirit needs it, plain and simple...and you might find some great godly friends along the way.
30-Make God's will your own. As long as you are doing things that please God, and being obedient, he will bless you very very much.
31-Always pray. No matter where you are, what you are doing. God knows you inside and out, but he wants you to be the one to come to Him.
32-Don't live your life worrying (I'm still working on this one). As long as you are doing what is right in His eyes, he will never let anything happen to you that is not according to His plan.
33-Don't value yourself or others based off of what you have. Material things will go ask quickly as they come. If you let yourself feel that you are only worth as much as you have, you will end up chasing after a happiness you will never truly have. (You've seen this in others). 
34-Also along those lines,... "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised"-Proverbs 31:30. Don't be shallow..its great to look good, but remember.. looks eventually fade..focus more on whats inside, and let THAT shine..personality will shine a lot longer than looks ever will.
and last one for now...
35-Be a godly example. There may be someone who is looking up to you and trying to do what you do. Your example can affect how another person thinks, acts, feels. I'm sorry I haven't always been the greatest example in how to act and live. I want you to take my past as an example of what NOT to do..but I hope that maybe now, I could be that great example you need. Mike feels the same way about his past. He wants you to see his example and learn from it..I want you to see his example now, and if you can find a God-loving man like him, you will be so happy. I promise you.


I love you so much, and I'm proud of you so far. I know you are not perfect, and you will probably make some mistakes....but just remember some mistakes are not worth making...they will follow you. I know you are a smart girl, though. I am very proud to call you my little sister.